Shame

Shame is defined as a feeling of embarrassment or humiliation that arises in relation to the perception of having done something dishonorable, immoral, or improper.

Shame is a culture created emotion. If you think about most emotions, like sadness or anger, these are usually natural emotions that our bodies feel when reacting to something external. For example, when someone physically hurts you, you feel anger, which is a completely natural emotion. However, shame is a little different. Shame is created in our minds. We make ourselves feel shame. We create our shame. Nothing can make us feel shame other than ourselves. If you fall and others laugh, no one is making you feel shame other than yourself. You can either laugh too or maybe feel ashamed of falling, but this is your choice.

This culture created emotion influence us to make certain choices in our lives that might not be true to ourselves. For example, wearing the colorful and bright shirt you always wanted to wear will never see the outside of your closet because it is not in style yet, even though you absolutely love how you look in it. Same goes for social media, careers, loved ones, style, friendships, family, etc.

When we allow shame to rule our lives, we hide our whole selves because we want to hide our weak spots or our defective sides. But what happens there? We lose authenticity. We lose ourselves and sometimes, when we don’t notice, it gets so deep within our lives that we start living filtered lives that are not truly ours.

Feeling shame is a big factor in life right now. So many things are judged. Actually, all things are ultimately judged. So, people tend to create decisions that are carefully planned out depending on what they think others might think. People rarely choose decisions based on what makes them feel good.

The good news is that once we become aware of this shame, we can work on it. We can take away its power and we can slowly start to create different habits of choices that can be more in tune with who we really are.